Sex, Menopause, and Everything They Forgot to Tell You
Let’s get real for a minute. Menopause isn’t just hot flashes and hormone charts—it’s a full-on mind-body overhaul. And one of the most confusing (and least talked about) parts? Sex. Yep. The thing no one warned you about until it started feeling... different. Or maybe disappeared altogether.
If you’ve found yourself wondering, "Where did my libido go?" or "Why does sex feel uncomfortable now?"—you’re not alone. And you’re not broken. You’re going through a very real, very human transition. The good news? There’s help, there’s hope, and yes—there can still be pleasure.
Let’s Talk About What Really Happens During Menopause
Menopause and perimenopause don’t just mess with your period—they shake up your whole identity. Your hormones fluctuate, your moods shift, and your body can feel like it’s on a rollercoaster you didn’t sign up for.
Here’s what you might notice:
Vaginal dryness or pain during sex
A sudden drop (or total disappearance) in libido
Changes in how your body responds to touch
Brain fog, fatigue, or feeling “off” emotionally
A sense of disconnection from your body or partner
These changes are common. Normal. But that doesn’t mean you have to just accept them without support.
Why No One Talks About This Stuff
There’s this weird silence around menopause and sex—especially when it comes to women’s pleasure. For decades, we’ve been taught to push through discomfort or to feel embarrassed for wanting more. But guess what? Wanting intimacy, pleasure, and connection isn’t selfish or silly—it’s human.
Sex doesn’t end at menopause. But it might look different. And that’s okay.
Therapy Can Help You Reconnect
Sexual health during menopause is about way more than biology. It’s about identity, connection, and self-worth. When you work with a therapist—especially one who’s AASECT-certified like I am—we look at the whole picture.
Together, we can:
Explore what’s changed and what it means for you emotionally and physically
Address any pain, shame, or frustration you may be feeling around sex
Talk honestly (and without judgment) about desire, arousal, and body image
Rebuild your sense of sexual self-confidence
Help you communicate your needs to your partner (or future partner!)
You don’t need a perfect libido or a 10-step seduction plan. You need honesty, insight, and a little guidance to feel like yourself again.
What If I’m Just Not in the Mood… Ever?
First of all, you’re not alone. Lack of desire is one of the top complaints I hear from women in midlife. And it’s not always about hormones. Sometimes it’s:
Emotional exhaustion
Unresolved relationship tension
Past trauma showing up in sneaky ways
Body image issues
Resentment (yes, that counts too)
Desire isn’t a light switch—it’s a garden. You can’t just flip it on. But you can nurture it. And therapy is where we figure out what’s been choking the roots and what it needs to grow again.
What If Sex Is Painful Now?
This is one of those topics that women feel embarrassed to bring up—but I promise, it’s way more common than you think. Painful sex (a.k.a. dyspareunia) is a very real part of the menopause transition for many women.
But painful doesn’t mean permanent. We can talk about:
Lubricants and moisturizers that make a difference
Pelvic floor therapy options
Mind-body relaxation tools
How to shift sexual expectations (and still have fun)
Sometimes you also need a consult with a medical provider. And I’ll help you know when it’s time for that, too.
The Emotional Side of Midlife Sexuality
Menopause isn’t just about physical changes. It’s about the stories you’ve carried—maybe your whole life—about what sex should be. This phase can stir up:
Fear of aging or becoming “invisible”
Worries about desirability or partner rejection
Feelings of grief around a changing body or identity
Questions about sexuality, gender, or what intimacy really means to you
Let’s talk about all of it. Not in a stuffy or clinical way, but in a safe, insightful, even funny space where you get to show up as your full self. No judgment. Just real talk.
You Don’t Need to Suffer in Silence
You don’t have to pretend everything’s fine or accept that sex is just "over." That’s outdated thinking, and frankly, it’s a lie. Menopause can be a powerful time to rediscover your voice, your body, and your wants.
I work with smart, insightful women who are ready to do just that. Therapy isn’t about fixing you—it’s about freeing you.
What Working with Me Looks Like
I’m not a blank-slate therapist who nods and takes notes. I’m a real human. I’m direct, a little irreverent, and deeply committed to helping you feel like you again.
As a trauma-informed and AASECT-certified therapist, I bring both expertise and compassion into our sessions. We’ll move at your pace. We’ll talk about things you’ve maybe never said out loud before. And we’ll laugh—because honestly, this stuff is messy and complex and sometimes really funny.
You Deserve Good Sex (Even Now. Especially Now.)
If you’re ready to stop tiptoeing around the changes in your sex life and start feeling connected again—to yourself, your body, and your pleasure—reach out. You’re not too old. It’s not too late. And this next chapter might just surprise you.
If you're navigating sex, intimacy, and identity during menopause in Macungie, PA or anywhere in Pennsylvania, therapy can help you feel whole again.